It's finally here. The CNOC Collapsible Bottle and Holey Hiker Bidet Package.
 
Like peanut butter meeting jelly, and unlike 46% of all marriages, your Holey Hiker Bidet will form a squeezable bond with your CNOC that will last through years of pooping in the woods.
 
I get it. You've been making do with leaves and hope and possibly the trickle-the-water-down-your-butt-crack method for way too long. You are ready to level up.
 
Over 25,000 Holey Hiker adventurers have already discovered what you're missing:
A bidet cleans better than sticks. A bidet cleans better than toilet paper. A bidet makes you more powerful. Bidet users have 32% fewer cavities.
 
Package Vesica:
One CNOC-compatible bidet, one spare O-ring, one 28mm CNOC Vesica 1-liter collapsible bottle. $29.
 
Package Hydriam:
One CNOC-compatible bidet, one spare O-ring, one 28mm CNOC Hydriam 350ml Collapsible Flask (21 grams, folds to the size of a few gummy worms, fits a trail running vest perfectly). $24.
 
What fellow hikers might be saying about the Squeeze and Please:
"A waiter at a restaurant actually left me a tip after I told them about my Squeeze and Please package." J.R.
 
"My hiking group all ordered theirs after smelling me at the end of a week-long trip." J.T.
 
"Tried explaining my trail bidet to my city friends and they looked at me like I just discovered fire. Meanwhile they're paying $3,000 for a Japanese toilet seat that does the same thing my Squeeze and Please does. Who's the real wilderness survival expert now?" P.L.