You already know you need a bidet and you are willing to become a page in the Holey Hiker Story. Welcome to the family. Weird family, but we're yours now.
Here's the deal. This listing starts at $11 for a Holey Hiker Bidet. This is a build your own kit listing. You're here to grab a bidet AND something else. Maybe two something elses. Go nuts.
If you buy just the bidet by itself from this listing, I will refund your money. No hard feelings. There's a perfectly good regular listing for that.