If you have read the other descriptions, you can hopefully understand that there is some low-level attempt at humor in each of them.
 
Except this one.
 
For all of you long distance runners out there, the Bark Lee Ultramarathoner Chafe Slayer Bidet is for you. I had a brief career as an ultramarathoner. And on a few of those Saturday long runs I had some episodes that required searching for some soft moss. Running another 10 miles after wiping with leaves and moss just isn't the same as the first ten.
 
When I started making bidets, I always brought one along in my running pack or belt. It took up nearly no space, added nearly no weight, and the two or three times I needed it was a game changer. Sometimes it did not fit the flask I was bringing so I just threw in one of those little 8 oz plastic water bottles. Empty, it added no burden to my run. Full, it was my backup hydration. If you are already packing a traditional plastic water bottle, then you are already all set.
 
Even if you do not need it to poop, the Bark Lee Ultramarathoner Chafe Slayer Bidet is useful for an occasional rinse. Get that salt out of your crack and run all day without the burn. You can leave the nutty butter at home.
 
PLEASE NOTE: the bidet fits two of my plastic collapsible flasks but does not fit my third one which was some cheap off brand from eBay.